Bed Time 101

So for this weeks question- I thought I'd ask one of my own! I have been asking for tips on Facebook about how to get my Connor to sleep on a schedule, stay asleep, etc... I have gotten some GREAT feedback! I wanted to post what my friend Brittany wrote to me in a message, so it can help any of you who are wanting to "Sleep Train" your babies, no matter what age!

Here's what she wrote:

The answer is . . . it is a lot of tiring work.

I wish I had an easy solution for you, but plain and simple they call it sleep "training" for a reason.
Just like training for a marathon or anything else it takes time and dedication.

I always makes me crazy when I have mom's come up to me and tell me how "easy I have it" or how "lucky" I am because my kids go to bed around 6pm every night and not only take great naps all day, but they go down for them SO easily.

It makes me crazy because I DO know how blessed I am to have children with good sleeping habits, but it is not "luck" or "easy", it is hard work.
BUT it is only hard work for a week or two then you have years and years of blissful sleeping!

So my suggestions to you would be:

1. Don't wait for him to get tired and fussy to lay him down.
You want to watch him very closely and when you notice that he is just a little bit more quiet, or little more still, or staring of int0 space. THAT is when you take them to bed.

2. Start a calming bedtime routine.
When they are this little you wont have much time.
According to Dr. Weissbluth you only have about a 15-20min window of the ideal time to put your baby to bed. And if you miss that window then you will be having to work a lot harder to get them to sleep and even harder to keep them asleep.

So I always liked a calming bath, just a really quick one, maybe 5 min. Then lotion them up while singing to them, put on jammies, swaddle them up REAL tight, and give them one last feeding (even if they just ate an hour ago - you always want to top them off).

3. Find what works for your baby.
Some babies (like my little Carter) have reflux and it irritates them to sleep laying flat in a crib, so he prefers to sleep in his swing. I don't turn it on, but even if that is what your little Connor needs then it will NOT be detrimental to him to sleep in a swing on or off, in a bouncy chair, in a carseat, in your bed, where ever! (as long as it's safe of course).

The key right now is to get him to recognize when he is tired and train him to sleep at the right hours of day/night.
So at first he may/WILL need extra help.
But once this is programed in his system, he won't need so much, if any, help.

4. Work to keep him asleep (The hard one)
So you did your routine, he is clean, full belly, and sleeping, and the next thing you know he is wide awake.
So what do you do?
This depends on your baby.
If he wakes up happy and just wants to lay in his crib and talk to himself, then let him, HOPEFULLY he will fall back asleep when he is done.
If he wakes up sad, or gets sad after a while, then it's time for you to go to work.
Go into his room (or where ever he is sleeping)
WITHOUT turning on any lights, and
WITHOUT talking to him, and
WITHOUT making eye contact with him.
(This was always the hardest part for me, especially when they are being cute and just want to play, but it makes a HUGE difference.)
He is awake because he wants to play with you, and you have to teach him that it is just not time for that.

Once in there, make sure he is still swaddled up good, and do what ever you have to do to get him back to sleep.
(Rocking, bouncing, nursing again, binki, but NO singing or talking).

If he is used to being up at this time of night this will be especially difficult for a few days, and my take an hour or so to get him back to sleep.
Just keep reminding yourself the whole time, that it WILL be worth it!

Then just stick to that throughout the night.
If you know he is waking up to eat - feed him,
If not - then just do whatever you have to to get him to sleep.

This is where some parents choose to let their babies "cry it out".

That is completely personal choice.
What you are basically doing is letting them cry because it tires them out faster and they will fall asleep quicker.

I would ALWAYS try to soothe them to sleep on my own first, and if after an hour or whatever your limit is, they are still asleep then leave the room and let them cry.
I choose to only let them cry for 20 min. at a time, then I would go back in and try again to soothe them to sleep on my own.
I have NEVER had to let them cry a second 20 min.

Good luck!
I know it is hard, but it is SOOO worth it.
Stick with it and in a week or two YOU will be that mom that everyone is saying "oh you have it so easy".
And you will just roll your eyes and say "yea . . . easy . . ."


I have been working at it for a few days now...and I don't feel like I'm getting ANYWHERE! So my question is, do any of you have a routine like this that works for YOU? What have you done or what are you currently doing to make your kids great sleepers? What should I change if this isn't working for me? Connor is programmed to go to sleep no earlier than 11:30 and I'm worn out! Thanks mothers!

~Kirsten